The decline of active listening skills among teens and young adults and how we can fight back.
By Carlos Soto-Angulo
There’s something magical about the moment when two people truly connect. It’s not loud, it’s not flashy, or attention-grabbing. It’s simple. It’s a nod of understanding, a pause to take in someone’s words that says, “I get it.” But lately, we’re losing this magic. Young people across the country are finding it harder to listen–not hear words, but to actually listen.
Our world moves fast. Teens and young adults are juggling school, work, relationships and about a hundred different notifications at any given time, so it’s really no wonder we’ve all become masters at half-listening. How many times have you started talking to someone only to realize they’re scrolling through their Instagram feed, nodding absentmindedly? We’re so connected that we’re losing touch. It’s ironic, really–in an era designed to make communication instantaneous, the art of listening, is quietly slipping away.
The Lost Art of Presence
In a classroom or a coffee shop, you might see groups of friends hanging out, each staring at their own screen. Conversations have become fragmented, broken up by snaps, texts and likes. As a generation, we’re losing the simple ability to sit across from someone and truly take in their words. It’s not that young people don’t care; it’s that our attention is stretched in every direction, leaving us barely able to stay in one place for very long. According to a study done by the American Psychological Association (APA), the average time that a person can focus on one thing has dropped from around 2½ minutes to around 45 seconds. That. Is. Insane.
Imagine a world where conversations were slower, where we could lean in and really notice each other’s expressions, the tone behind the words, the pauses where emotions gather. That’s the essence of listening, but in our world of rapid-fire exchanges, it’s a rare gift. When we lose the ability to be present, we lose the depth and empathy that define human connection. I think that the problem isn’t that we’re not socializing, it’s that we’re oversocializing, we’re flooding our brains with social media content, meeting people we shouldn’t be, and overstimulating our brains with content that isn’t necessary. We’re going beyond a point we should, so when do we know what the limit is?
Why This Matters
Active listening is powerful because it goes beyond mere words; it lets us feel understood. And this feeling is essential, especially for young people, as we try to make sense of the world and find our place in it. Listening, at its best, helps us build relationships, learn from each other, and most importantly, grow as individuals and as a society. We need listening to bridge gaps, foster empathy, to remind us we’re not alone.
Finding Our Way Back
So how do we bring back the art of listening? It’s a fight worth taking on– not with grand gestures, this isn’t a toxic breakup–but small, intentional changes that make a big difference. Make time for phone-free conversations, practice being present, ask questions that show you care, reflect on what you’ve heard and make listening a priority in your friendships
Final Thoughts
I’m part of the generation that grew up with constant connectivity–I had Snapchat in 5th grade–but we don’t have to accept superficial connections as the norm–once again, Snapchat. Relearning to listen actively isn’t just about having better conversations–it’s about building better lives. So let’s fight back. Let’s reclaim the art of listening, the skill that allows us to genuinely understand and care for one another. After all, in a world where everyone is constantly talking, listening just might be the most radical thing we can do.
Excellent article. Even adults need to work on their listening skills these days.